Something That You Miss.
Something that I miss? Well to put it plainly: Dad. I know I've said this before in previous entries, but this is bone hard medical fact. I miss my dad. I haven't seen him in aver 9 years (as you know) and I think that's part of the reason I am depressed so much. I'm missing the dad in my life. I mean yes, we talk on the phone and make plans to see each other.... but they always fall through. They never go according to plan, and that's what kills me the most. He always says things, gets my hopes up, and then everything falls apart and it makes me slightly more depressed than what it has been. If I don't go to him, he will not come to me; and I know this for a fact. I'm going to have to drag my ass down to Florida, AGAIN, just to see him, and if he comes through, I'll get to see him. And I'll be sure to bring my baseball bat or hockey stick to beat the shit out of him; after I hug and kiss him for the first time in 9 years...
There's also something else I miss... at the current moment: Jim. It's been almost two weeks since I've seen him last; and I miss him terribly. They always say a little bit of distance is good for the heart: it makes you love the person more and more with each mile you're apart. Well, I truly miss him enough to say that. I miss his touch, his kiss, his body, his face; his everything. In the short time we've been together, he has managed to pick me up off my feet (literally) and make me feel alive again. I love him, and I miss him all too much for my own good. Being away from him for 2 weeks at a time is hard enough; the summer is going to be rough because I'll be back in Jersey... if I don't get summer housing; which I'm hoping I can get this summer because well, I'm really liking living on my own... away from all the bullshit, and I'm closer to him this way.... I'd do anything for love; anything.
